My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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