All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
