oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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