Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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