i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
