my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
