yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
