dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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