Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
