the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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