I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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