Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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