At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
you inspire me to be a worse person
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I fill condoms, not promises.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
