Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
