You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
