I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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