I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
