No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
No more Irish car bombs ever.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
