Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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