I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
