remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
