you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
