Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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