My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize