Taylor Swift is so right about you.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
