I didn't shave. On purpose
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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