Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I think people are normalizing furries
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He did a backflip because drugs
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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