Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
