Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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