so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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