ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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