even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
