You smell like stripper and shame
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
