I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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