I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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