Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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