But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
