if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
