You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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