wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
