She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
