question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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