Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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