She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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