Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
