Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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