You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
