So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
