Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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