Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
