I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
The air taste purple.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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