New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
