I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
