make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I love you.
Bad choice
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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