wanna go halves on a baby?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
