if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
