I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I came so hard my ears popped.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
