I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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