But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
