Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize