Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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