So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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