This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
