You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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