my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
