all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
