god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize