She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
