Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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