I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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