As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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