I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
