i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
