he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
